Happy Birthday To Me, Part I

My birthday is coming up and I am having a joint family/friends party. I know, I know, that sounds like a recipe for disaster, but I've had them before and they're actually a lot of fun. Everyone gets drunk and hilarity ensues. One year my grandma accidentally groped me while giving a toast. She put her hand on my shoulder and slowly during her toast, her hand dropped down to my boob. Another year, or maybe it was that same year, my dad called me a piece of meat. One time my mom's toast to me (fam is big into toasts) started something like, "We all know you are a little bit crazy." One time my cousin brought his then-girlfriend who had an obvious boob job. Throughout the evening her tube top would slip down, revealing no nipples where there definitely should have been some. Can't wait to see what this year has in store!